Most people love a good compliment, right?
I know I do.
But how does one go about giving them, especially to someone you do not know?
I have done a lot of personal experimentation with compliment-giving out there in the world and it has been a fun journey.
I’m not a fashion person, I’m also not a flashy person (for the most part), and I’m not into a lot of random things like makeup, jewelry, beards, or designer dogs.
The first tip I will give you for complimenting people is to make sure you mean it! Mean what you say. Don’t just look for something to nice to say, actually mean to have something nice to say.
It makes a huge difference and people can usually tell when you aren’t being authentic and are doing it to gain something or because you have some sort of ulterior motive.
Be nice but mean to be nice and only say nice things when you really mean to and want to compliment someone on something.
This is where curiosity is your friend- which brings me to my next tip: asking good follow-up questions.
When you say something nice about something, often times it makes the conversation more fun to ask follow-up questions if time permits. If the person is next in line to order their latte or to get their name badge at an event, maybe don’t ask a million questions, but usually, this is a great way to dive deeper into a conversation with someone you do not know.
This tip is important because often time we will give compliments and the person we’re talking to says something or starts talking a LOT about whatever you just said and you we freeze. What do we say next? I wasn’t prepared for the whole back story on where they got those stilettos.
Having some follow up questions, or being able to say something in return is important. Have something ready and make sure it’s positive.
This is where you can freestyle a bit and then introduce yourself if it seems fitting. Don’t forget to lead the conversation back to a common ground and that common ground is you getting to know them and vice versa.
If you really are interested in their shoes or their dog or their hairstyle, then ask them and make a note and move on. If you really are looking to connect more with people, leave it as compliment and keep the conversation going onward.
Occasionally I do see things I like that people have and I want to know where they got it from so I can get it. Sometimes I want to know just to make a mental note, and sometimes I want to know because I am feeling a bit nosey that day. It depends.
When it comes to networking and building up a group of people who I trust and admire (and vice versa), the conversation has to be more than just frills and nice accessories.
Which brings me to tip #3: Give compliments that aren’t just physical things. Get creative.
When you can get creative with your compliments, it tends to create an immediately deeper conversation.
“I love how your eyes match your sweater” is better than I like that sweater.
“You have such a warm personality- you seem really personable and easy to talk to” is better than telling them they have a nice smile.
“Wow! Your handshake is fantastic- I love how confident you are” is better than “Nice handshake”.
Catch my drift?
The more specific you can get with your compliment, the better it sounds and the better it feels.
When I compliment someone I do it from my heart and I do it in the most genuine and open way I can. I try to connect with someone honestly and wholeheartedly, and almost every single person responds back in an unexpectedly happy way.
We are living in a time where people are more aggressive, frustrated and upset with those around them and I see fewer and fewer happy posts and news articles and videos circulating the web. Many people are anxious to leave their house and to even talk to strangers.
That’s where a compliment can come in, break the ice and break through the walls and the barricades that many of us have built in an attempt to protect ourselves from the drama, negativity and ridiculousness of the world today.
How can you brighten someone’s day and show some gratitude towards them?
How can you spread some love and make someone else feel good?
What you put out there you get back, especially if you are open to both giving and receiving love.
Complimenting people is one of the best ways to be open to what the world has to offer and to see things in a new light. So go out there and start saying nice things- start being a nicer version of you and start spreading some of that goodness around like it’s butter. It will pay off and you will reap the benefits of good juju and positive vibes.
If you still feel like you’re a bit awkward when it comes to talking to people in such an expressive manner, ping me and let me see if I can help.
If you still feel nervous about approaching those you don’t know and giving your honest opinion with confidence, ping me and let me know.
I am here to help you become a better version of yourself so you can uplevel your business, your career and your goals.