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I used to get so annoyed when people would tell me to be grateful for what I had when I was telling them about a dream or desire I had.
I hated it.
Clearly, they’re ignoring the fact that I just said I wanted to do something super big or aspirational… Are they shushing me? Do they think I’m crazy? They must not think I can do it…
Have you been through this as well?
The thing is though, being grateful for how far you’ve come and being confident in where you are now requires the same things: perspective and reflection.
You have to physically take a second, stop and reflect on where you are now and what that means.
You must stop and look at things from the perspective and vantage point of not just how far you (still) have or want to go, but also how far you’ve come thus far.
Without this sort of pause and introspection, you will be able to calmly and confidently move forward.
Only when you take a break and reflect will you be able to see your strength, see your willpower and feel your past triumphs.
This reflection reminds you not only how far you’ve come and what you’ve been through but what you were capable of. It’s crazy looking back seeing the hurdles we had to jump over and the obstacles we went through.
Most of us saw none of it coming, had no preparation or help but we MADE IT THROUGH.
I love the quote:
That sparks confidence when you really look at it.
Yes, it may hurt to remember what it was like to have an overdrawn bank account, 20 additional pounds on your body and the worst boss on the planet- but you made it through. You perservered.
And if you can make it through that, just imagine all that you can do.
That is the introspection is what helps fuel a confident continuation towards your current dreams.
You can absolutely keep trail blazing and moving towards your dreams at 90mph, but you will at some point burn out or get tired.
Taking the opportunities to get confident and check your gauges every so often is the reason why everyone on the planet is so into talking about selfcare all the time.
It’s in the moments of stillness or time alone or in the bathtub that give you such moments of clarity.
And those moments of clarity and those moments of silence are what propel you forward, confidently.
Confidence isn’t something that just shows up for everyone the same way- you have to work at it.
For me, the practice of using powerful affirmations and mindset work, along with looking at factual data in my life has been extremely helpful.
I love looking at everything that I have factually accomplished and achieved and done will in my life- I leave the emotion out of it and I that long list of wins are proof that I have something to realistically be proud of and confident about.
Most people hate positive affirmations because it doesn’t feel true when you stand in front of the mirror or somewhere and pronounce “I am confident. I am capable. I am a leader.” or whatever the affirmation is.
It simply doesn’t feel right to some people to say something that they don’t fully embody. And I get it… But look at what you’ve done and how the general population could absolutely equate that or categorize that as a substantial win or as absolutely capability or achievement…
For example, if you’ve won multiple awards and accolades in your industry and if you’ve managed to increase your credit score by 200 points, raise x amount of money for a local charity, raise 2 successful and obedient puppies, etc. then you have something to be proud and confident about.
Other people have acknowledged your achievements in xyz-area. Your teaching skills- winning. Your ability to pay your bills on time and learn about personal finances- commendable. The fact that you were able to raise money in a short timeframe for a good cause- incredible.
You have so many abilities and traits that you can be confident in- you just have to shift your perspective and dig in.
If you have an issue with this exercise then I recommend asking a good friend or a parent.
Ask them about something they didn’t know you could do or pull of that you managed to pull off.
Ask them about a time where they weren’t confident that you’d bounce back so quickly or get the job or graduate on time or drop the weight before your cousins’ wedding and you DID.
Sure, it may feel weird to hear this but it might also make you feel confident because during the times when they weren’t confident in you- you were fucking killing it and probably didn’t even realize it.
Take the break and do the work and the work will be the gauge to show you not only where you are now mentally, but where your strengths and weaknesses are.
Pat yourself on the backs for the strengths and use the weaknesses as new things you can achieve along the way towards your current goals. You are not weak.
You’ve never been weak- even when you couldn’t lift a 10lb weight or jog for more than 4 minutes at a time… even when your credit score was as low as your exes’ IQ… even when you couldn’t get out of bed you were so sad about getting laid off.
The fact is- you got up. You persevered. Despite what you probably thought and despite what those around you probably though.
Sure, this sounds like a pep-talk but it’s true and this work is necessary no matter where we are in life.
Boosting your confidence is like getting a boost of energy or good juju- it’s always welcome in my house… even when I already feel pretty good as it is.
The truth of the matter is you have everything you need right now to feel confident with where you are in life and to move forward proudly in the direction of your dreams.
You’ve got this.
And if you ever need a boost from someone who is a professional booster- hit your girl up. I’m always here for ya. <3